Are you planning to start living together with your bae? This situation can become a true challenge for your relationship. Today, our partners and the owners of a trusted website for Asian singles gathered all the needed tips for moving in together for the first time. By following this advice, you have all the chances to avoid and minimize quarrels in your relationship.
Tip #1: Take it seriously and be ready to discuss a lot
Moving in together is a huge step in relationships. You need to be sure that you trust this person and that you are ready to share bills and solve all the problems together with this person. Before you even start to discuss renting a flat together, you should check that you really have common values and understand each other well. In some cases, time is the only thing that can help you build trust. If you can’t handle your fear, remember that it can be natural and maybe your relationship is not yet that mature and needs more time.
Tip #2. Be ready to discuss the budget and roles
This point will be hard for couples who prefer to avoid discussing money. Still, this topic can’t be a taboo subject in healthy couples. Bills, rent, moving costs, and furniture expenses – all these questions will arise whether you want them or not. In reality, avoiding the money subject in a couple is even more insecure than discussing it openly. People stay with their insecurity and fears one-on-one if they don’t talk about it with their partner. So, before you move in together, talk about sharing rent, bills, budget, expenses, and reaching comfort.
Tip #3. Come up with a fixed budget
A fixed moving budget will help you avoid unnecessary costs and feel more secure about your expenses and powers. In addition, you will avoid unnecessary money wasting and quarrels about buying something for the flat, including expensive furniture or devices. Evaluate whether you plan to live in this flat for years, or just for a short time. It makes no sense to invest in expensive kits and furniture if you plan to move to another city or country in a year. Check local websites for reselling used things and furniture to lower the expenses if needed.
Tip #4: Accommodate the needs of both of you
Compromises are very good; however, make sure that you meet the needs of both of you when you look for an apartment. We are all different and it can be really hard to strike a balance between the priorities of two persons in a couple. Of course, you shouldn’t be too harsh and start to quarrel about every single thing. Still, try to explain to your partner the most important things. To give a few examples, it is highly likely that you will need to discuss how close you want to live to the center and parks, the possibility to work from home, the vicinity of transportation or car parking, the level of noise, cleanliness, etc.
Tip #5. Decide together on the decorations and small things
Choosing together decorations and the design can become a funny and uniting activity for your couple. Discuss your preferences in the interior and try to use more visual things, such as a Pinterest board or photos, to describe what you mean in particular. Visuals, though not precise, will help you to better understand each other and avoid misunderstanding.
Tip #6. Find common rules for your daily routine
When people start living together, they can quarrel even about bedtime and alarms, which is no surprise because you are already used to keeping to a particular regime and for sure you want to keep your level of comfort. As a life hack for those who find out that their time to wake up is really very different, you can choose flats with good noise isolation and use a silent alarm based on vibration. You should also discuss how you tolerate noise in general, including falling asleep to the sound of a TV or Computer. And do you wait for each other if one of the partners comes home late? Discuss these things as well.
Tip #7. Share responsibilities fairly
When you move together, it also means that from now on you will have to perform all your chores together as well. Discuss what you and your partner don’t mind or even like doing. For example, you may hate to iron or cook, but instead, you like to keep everything clean and pay the bills. It is also wise to speak about how both of you see cleanliness in general. Do you clean your flat every day or once a week? You would also pick the person who will represent your couple in the relationship with the landlord. This person will take the final decision and discuss problems with the landlord if issues arise.
Tip #8. Discuss your pets and children
If you have kids from a previous relationship, you also have to think about their needs and discuss them with your new partner. While the situation with pets is a bit easier, you still have to talk about who will pay the bills for your pets and take care of them from now on. Will you share the responsibility or go on paying for the pet yourself despite living together? Also, people may have different habits regarding pets. For some of us, it is fine to sleep in one bed with a cat or a dog, while others think that the cat should stay in a different room at night. These small moments can become a problem if you don’t talk about them beforehand.
Conclusion
Probably the main tip here is to remember that people are very different. If your partner lives in a mess, it doesn’t mean that he or she is a bad person, maybe he or she just tolerates a mess better than you. He or she may be at the same time very much irritated by your lovely cat leaving furballs everywhere. So, be patient, breathe in and out, and remember that these challenges are very normal for all people. If you are ready to discuss things openly with your partner, you will overcome all the challenges and start living together in peace and harmony.